Stoopid as a Stoopid Does

I saw the absolutely funniest thing Thursday. I was in a cab to go sign my new lease (which I did not do .... long story but something to do with signing my life away). Anyway I was just west of the park (Central) and I saw all these police cars. Amongst the cars I noticed a van - similar to a SWAT van often seen on the TV. Only this one had in massive yellow and black letters across the side "Witness Protection Relocation". Now correct me if I am wrong - but isn't the whole point of Witness Protection for it to be secret. In which case wouldn't you consider the massive yellow and black sign a little obvious and likely to draw attention?

Survival that was week 1

Day 1 at the office today. And anyone that saw me would have cracked up. I leave my hotel room (notice room) looking all styled, cool, sophisticated (Kez - you would have been so proud - I made use of accessories). Well this is NYC for you. While I was getting all prepped into the fashionista goddess ready to take the office by storm...... I made the monumental error of deciding to walk to the office rather than take that air-conditioned cab. The humidity today was off the record - it was around 37degrees with the humidity. And by the time I walked the 9 blocks to work (carrying all of my books and laptop and H2O) I walked in and looked as if I was melting (I actually think I was melting). So much for styled, cool, sophisticated me. The "living piece of art"* that started out like a Da Vinci ended up into a Monet.

But my day improved. I went to get myself a mobile number and something became bleedingly obvious to me (or rather cemented the debacle that is now referred to as the Social Security Office Nightmare). This place is more about choice than convenience. Convenience would be actually being able to order a mobile phone without it taking an hour just to fill in the form (1/2 of which you don't know what you are getting). Do I want 100 free text messages?..... if yes do I want PSC Vision [don't ask - I don't know]. Oh and then there's the option to get roaming so that you can use the phone outside of the immediate metro area..... this is a choice? Isn't that the whole point of a mobile phone?

Whatever it costs - add another $4 a month. Then do I want to be able to make international calls? Ummmmm? Yes I do! Another $4 a month. So all of a sudden my $30 month plan jumps up to $64 with all the extras. Oh and then the fine print...... you pay a surcharge of $1.50 month, then taxes (8% for NYC). Wow!!!!! All I want is a damn mobile. Now I am on the search for a pre-paid card. But given that the concept of EFTPOS is foreign here and they still pay by check - I won't hold my breath.

Which is a very different picture than the weekend. SuperVee actually got on the subway for the second time in her life.
All by myself..... without help, guidance or a map. I made it to my destination safe & sound(72ndSt via Times Square to Central Station), without getting lost, on the wrong train or mugged. Except I think I stood out a bit. Firstly it was the fact I ventured on the subway with heels (my poor Manolos - never again - they get carried in a bag). Then there was the clutching of my bag to my chest...... no way this chicky is getting pick-pocketed. But all in all - an exciting and interesting 12 minutes. So I was super cool (in my own mind) - on the subway. :-) Now the subway is an efficient system.

So I've started to piece together my schedule for the next couple of months. Here I thought I was moving to NYC to live the life of high glamour with side trips to Europe or at least somewhat interesting places in the US (San Fran, Chicago, Washington). But..... my first 2 trips. Phoenix, Arizona (and before you ask - there's nothing in Phoenix, Arizona) and Charlotte, North Carolina. Well what can we say about Charlotte, NC. I don't mean to be a pessimist (I haven't been there as yet) but this is a quote from the Yahoo Travel Site re Charlotte: "They like to project the image of a sophisticated, fast-lane cultural metropolis – in fact its center is somewhat soulless, though many nearby neighborhoods are delightful and stuffed with good places to eat.". Given the quality of the food here....... not exactly an enticement.

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* c/o Urby

Question of the Day: To outsource or not?

If I had a manifesto (ok I admit I actually do [refer to entry Mon Oct 18th 2004]- but doesn't quite read the same) it would include the statement that one should outsource what one can outsource.** At least so I've started to believe. But time will tell - no doubt tomorrow when I pick up my laundry from Lee's Laundry and Cleaners I'll learn exactly how effective outsourcing can be. There's hope for me settling here yet. I dropped off my package, didn't even question the fact that I was actually handing over my prized possessions to "Laaaarry" (where was Mr Lee?).

I think I may have had a win today. Good old trusty(?) NAB broke with their "company policy" and have - at least verbally - agreed to send me a much needed reference letter. Again time will tell if this actually comes to fruition when I receive the faxed version of the letter. And how - may you ask - did I achieve such a great feat? On wit? charm? grace? Nope - it was the whole escalation card. When they say no (which they did 4 times on that call) keep getting them to escalate a level of management. I was happy to keep on going - right up to calling in some favours with the local management team. They really are not out to make one's life easy now are they. Just hopeless.

Anyway I sign off from what was a beautiful NYC day. It was HOT HOT HOT (34 degrees) - but we saw the end of the humidity (and we saw blue sky) and I must say I loved it. I've even learnt how to walk the streets of Manhattan while not actually breathing in. It's amazing. No doubt I'll get used to the reek that comes from such heat mixed with pollution and 1.5 million people occupying 23 square miles (that's 66,940.1 people per square mile - and doesn't take into account visitors or workers that commute outside of manhattan).


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**With the caveat that this applies to ones personal life (we all know how disastrous outsourcing ones core competencies can be).

My Quest for the Holy Grail (otherwise referred to as a Social Security Number)

I never thought I'd ever say this - but I actually think that the Australian "customer facing government departments" (specifically Centrelink) may be worlds best in class. Or at a minimum a hell of a lot better than say - I don't know - the US Social Security Office perhaps. Not only do we contemplate online applications (we are living in 2005 are we not?), but (and again can't believe I'm saying this) the staff are friendlier and more helpful, the processes easier - oh and when you a read a form - 9 times out of 10 you can understand it (obviously the tax pack being the exception) :-) .

I went to apply for a Social Security Number (hereafter SSN) today.

To be honest - the issues started when I downloaded the application form. 4 pages of explanations to explain filling in a 1 page form with around 7 questions? Only to discover after reading the application form - the most difficult question was "what is your Mother's maiden name?". I can understand the 4 pages though - apparently they took literacy lessons from George Dubya himself - because they found a way to make that question harder to answer than the solution to achieving World Peace.

I walk in to the Social Security Office (SSO) to be greeted(?) by a security woman (actually I was looking around somewhat dumbfounded as I couldn't find one sign to indicate where to go or what to do - and she apparently took pity and pointed towards what looked to be a relatively short line).

But looks can be be oh so deceiving. I will admit - I was forewarned it would take a while. But OMG 2.5 hrs standing in a line!!! For what eventually took 3.58 minutes (yes I was timing). There were approx 13 people in front of me - not a great number considering there were 14 in the whole place (I found an apparently fairly unknown SSO just around the corner from the hotel). But damn they are slow.

And then - after I get to the front of the line with only 2 people to go..... the SS Officer walks off. Never to be seen again. I think it may have been her lunch break. So we wait, and wait, and wait. People are dropping like flies, leaving the office followed by a string of huffs, puffs and the occasional profanity (some woman went so far as to scream - yep scream - at the SS officers from the line). Then one of the people in the line made the monumental error of asking the security woman if anyone was coming back - not pretty I tell you.

Finally - it is my turn....... but the new SS Officer is off again. So I wait and wait and watch the clock as it looks like I will miss my 2 o'clock appointment. And then voila - "sign here" I hear. But I can't - she typed in the data wrong - and damn was it scary telling her. Then she's off - again - and then back - form correct. Signed. Done?

So I'm sure you're wondering if I ever got that damn SSN. And the answer is (do I really need to tell you?) NO!!!! I did not!!!!!!! Apparently the official visa stamp in my passport issued by the US Consulate - was not enough to verify I have a visa. They needed to "check" (what the? It's ok for customs to let me in the country but not to get a SSN?). And the check - takes 6 weeks!!!!!!!!

And that's when it all came to me - they don't want to make it easy. If you cut down the numbers, make people wait in line for hours, bark or ignore the person you are speaking to - then maybe, just maybe, that's one less piece of work to be done because you drive everyone away. Online or postal application process anyone?

So there - I vented. I feel better. I am still down one SSN - but such is life right.
A special thanks to Miss Melly - for which I would never have survived the 2.5 hours standing on concrete in stilettos without my copy of the Fashionista Files - which I have now finished thanks to the inefficiency of the US Social Security Office. So it was not an entire waste of time.

Are the planets out of alignment?

So the Manolo store has 2 sales a year. All season items in the store on sale. And me….. what am I doing the one day of the year that Blahnik’s has a sale? Could responsibility have actually overtaken the desire to purchase designer shoes? I am apartment hunting - or more accurately at the time the Manolo store opened after restocking – I was walking through the MeatPacking District – in sweltering heat. And yes it did smell as bad as you imagine it would. I think I may actually be losing it. Since when does a fashionista ever pick practical over couture?

My experience apartment hunting has been an interesting one. I discovered today there’s only one way to apartment hunt – and that’s with a broker, a city guide and town car. I was picked up at 10am this morning but a rather lush green Lincoln town car. First stop Trump Place (yes that Trump). Unfortunately – it set a fairly high standard for apartments for the day. Everything paled in comparison. With it’s high ceilings and 665 square footage – it’s a reasonable sized apartment. Complete with health club, doorman, concierge, security guards, valet parking, outside a 20 acre extension of Riverside Park, shuttle bus to the subway station, views of the Hudson etc etc – who could knock it back? Other than it’s not exactly in the part of Manhattan I wanted to live. Small price to pay? Check it out: www.trumpplace.com

After what felt like viewing 100+ apartments later (actually only 10), eating in the smelliest (yet apparently being the “it” place to eat – upper east side) and being accosted by a tenant in one of the apartment blocks - I got down to the one part of Manhattan I was interested in living. Other than the reality check that: 1. the apartments in the West Village are dumps; 2. the area is noisy and kinda smells; and 3. the prices are way out of the average persons price range – I think it went well. J

And I get to relive the experience again tomorrow and Thursday. Such Joy. I’ll still be a pair of Manolo’s down.

Welcome to NYC?

I never seem to be able to get over quite how different the US is from Aus. We have this standard of living, service, cleanliness that is missed here (unless of course you are living the life of luxury - where someone does all that for you - at a high cost). Take the hotel I am currently living at. It's classed as one of the nicer in the area and yet it just doesn't compare to say the equivalent rating in Aus.

But I can't complain - it's a much bigger room than you would usually get here. I think the BellBoy took a liking to me - and upgraded my room. I have a view of the Hudson river and the east side of the city. Pics per blog.

Where have all the good men gone?

For all you fabulous fashionistas out there in Aussie land - I've discovered the answer to why there are no eligible men in Aus - because they are all apparently in the US. Who would have thought. Almost adopted myself a cute little Aussie boy in the security line at SFO. Damn if only he was flying to NYC instead of Chicago. :-)